I feel as though I owe you all an apology.
Last week I posted a blog that was rather depressing. (I have since deleted the post) I was in a foul state of mind and not feeling so well. I let my depression get the better of me and I what I wrote, while it reflected my thoughts and feelings of the moment, looked poorly upon the outlook and message I try to convey on a daily basis.
The thing is, I was actually feeling those things, but that doesn’t mean I needed to express them as I did. I made comments about being hopeless and as though nothing would ever change. Suffering from sever anxiety and depressive states, I sometimes DO feel that way. However, I am doing everything I can to push the negativity out of my life and bring more positivity.
My post alarmed some folks and the Calvary came out after me. I am so sorry. I did not intend to make anyone fear that I would be threaten my own life. That was not my intent and I never had that notion.
I fight depression and anxiety issues on a regular basis. Having bi-polar disorder, PTSD, Generalized anxiety disorder, and Hypothyroidism via Hashimotos, I am prone to extreme fits of mania and/or depression. I also battle issues with chronic pain and the last few weeks I have been in increasing amounts of pain with no way to relieve it. I have spoken with my doctor and we are looking at Fibromyalgia treatments. After that appointment, I had some pharmacy issues and a large number of my meds ran out at the same time. There was about a week where I had varying amounts of meds missing, starting, stopping and trying to compensate.
My brain was soup. it was during that week that the depression hit me head on full force. Life is kinda screwy and I while I can usually handle it, I didn’t handle this particular week well.
So, again my apologies. Dealing with multiple disorders is complicated. Balancing meds, hormones, emotions, life, and relationships is difficult for most people. For someone with a chronic illness, its that much harder.
Please have patience with the people in your life who may be going through a rough spell. And please understand that for people with mental/physical issues, life is marathon. Sometimes we just need some time and love. Sometimes we can’t keep up with everything that we want to do.
Thank you to those who took the time to reach out to me the last few weeks. I am on the up and up. More doc appointments coming, labs done today and a bright hopeful outlook. (Oh and more blogs coming!!)